5 Tips to Avoid Getting "Molested" By a Man on Craigslist

So to avoid getting that lonely 32 year old home computer programmer's poor excuse for a male genitle in your back door, you should follow these 5 steps I have listed below to avoid getting either/or;

a) raped
b) raped and/or molested
c) murdered
d) all of the above

Please, use the utmost caution when purchasing from Craigstlist.

1) Is it too good to be true? Then it REALLY is.

Lets say your looking for a brand new car. Well slightly used. Well pretend were kind of poor but not too poor. You find a 2004 Mustang GT with only 5,000 miles. What the fuck. This is so awesome! You open the listing, the person posted in the Atlanta Classifieds , but for some reason is located in Florida..for vacation. So they decided to drive to Florida, and make you come get the car. FUCK that. There is a difference between a "good" deal and one thats "TOO good" to be true. Ask yourself, would I ever sell this for that price? Under ANY circumstances? Fuck no!

2) Broken English? I heard you like motorcycle?

Many times I have read posts for bootleg electronics such as a fake iPod from Korea. In it is the most poor excuse for our language known as English. If the jackass selling you something cant even fucking speak English, what makes you trust him? What if he doesnt understand when you say "I already payed you, wheres my fucking iPod?". Suddenly he speaks French. I remember my dad got an email when he was selling a motorcycle. He was selling it, not buying it. The email said "So I herd you like motorcycle?". Clearly not, my dad was selling the damn thing. That brings me to the next step.

3) The Craiglist email scam, NO BUY

Its really easy to tell if somebody is a real customer or fucking you over. I sold a bike once and got about 5 emails, and each one had the same fucking EXACT way the person would like to purchase my bike. It went something like this:

"I will send the check if you give me your adress, number , etc. My Mover will come and get the bike as I am not in that area"

Except the real email was all in broken English. Your mover? You hire somebody to go and pick up stuff for you? Actually movers, MOVE stuff out of houses. And what a stupid thing. I replied to one of these guys with a fake adress to see what they would do. A week later I got this:

Hello,


Good morning,thanks for your nice patience since all these days.I
was out of the state to take care of my parents in Texas and i got a
lot of problem there due to the bad hurricane.Anyway,i would want you
to kindly confirm both the reciept and clearance of my check
payment.Also tell me the right time for the pickup.

Thanks.

hahahahahahahha
clearly bullshit.

4) No picture? Wait..thats the same picture from amazon.com..

If they dont have a picture of what theyre selling, chances are...they dont even have the god damn item to begin with. The "my camera" is broken excuse is BAD. Its 2008, everyones cell phones has a camera. Also watch out for people who just google a picture of an xbox.

5) Don't buy anything with the codeword "jehova witness"

Its probally a 5 year old little girl.

As you can see its...really not that hard to get scammed. Its blaintly obvious your getting scammed and it would take a real dumbass to think they're getting a xbox 360 for $10 or selling their home fitness bike for $15000 to a man who lives 5 countries away from you.

Be smart people...be smart.

Now Selling, 5 year old child, brand new, only on craigslist

Ah can you smell that? The fresh early morning smell of a 5 year old Chinese girl for only $10 in the Metro Atlanta area. Oh, for those of you who cant smell it, that would be www.craigslist.com. The greatest invention ever (besides porn). It's just like Ebay, except you can trade foreign children in YOUR area!

I'll admit it, Craigslist is scary as fuck. It's chop full of scams and man rape waiting to happen. But, you can also get some GREAT deals. You just have to be smart, and careful of who and what you buy from.

Let me share a story with you children. Pull up a chair and listen as uncle SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP tells you a store.

I too once was addicted to Craigstlist. I was looking for a desktop (The exact one im on now) because I wanted one in my room. I wanted it to be inexpensive, decent, and close by. It took a few days, but eventually I found the perfect Compaq, only about 6 years old and could run XP fine. I'll take it. I later found it, this guy was only 2 miles from my house...fuck 2 miles..he lived down the fucking street.

So after a few emails are exchanged and im sure im not going to get fucked in the ass, I went over to pick it up. We talked on the phone the same day and he told me to drop by. I go into the neighborhood and its a middle class hood. Decent houses, families out walking the dogs and kids. I figure, hey, he must be a family man! or...prey on all the other peoples kids.

Of course his house is the ONE fucking house thats creepy as hell. All the blinds are shut and the garage is closed. I ring the doorbell and nothing, all the sudden behind me "CHRIS?!". Its that fucker! We exchanged some words he takes me inside and asks if I need to see the computer running. "FUCK NO NIGGA! GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE!" is what I thought in my head. I noticed something though. As I was talking to him, he was staring into my eyes. And I mean just god damn GAZING into them like I was his long lost lover. I will admit, im a pretty manly guy (heehehehehe) and this scared me. I got the fuck out of there with my computer.

I expected to later find at home a folder full of child porn. Thank god I didnt.

With that being said, you have to be safe on Craigslist. I will post a follow up to this, with some tips about how to be safe, and get some PHAT fucking deals.

Toshiba Qosmio G55-Q802

In todays tech world there are so many laptops, and I mean so many, its hard to know which one to choose or which has the most up to date and best technology. What factors can you look for today in a faster laptop? I mean we already have DSL so speed isnt a factor, pretty much all laptops have a fast processor, good graphics card, nice sound and all that jazz. What possibly more could ANYONE do to get a faster lap top or something worth 5 months of my paycheck. It looks like now, they resort to user functionality. Or how lazy can I be, while still using a laptop.

That is where the Toshiba Qosimo G55-Q802 comes into play. It has all that jazz. A huge crystal clear and sharp 18.4 inch screen, Nvidia GeForce 9600M GT, Dual 250GB hard drives, 4gB DDR2 Ram, 2GHz Core 2 Duo P7350 processor, and even a super sexy sounding sound system. I mean yea, that sounds like a cool laptop. But really..there are a million like it. And for $1600?

Ah, but I fooled you. It does have SOME neat things. It will convert your regular standard DVD's, to HD so you can watch them in..well HD on your laptop. Not bad, thats pretty neat. It also has a very sleek and sexy look. The keyboard is HUGE with a dedicated numerical keypad.

The computer also uses a new cell processor, the same kind used in the Playstation 3. This is where this gets interesting. (or should) The Quad Core HD Processor is supposed to speed up the video transcoding process way faster. So people who edit home movies or the kid who makes skateboard montages should be able to compile them at almost double the speed of a regular processor. I read from some websites they tested this, and it was only about a minute and a half longer. Nice lie Toshiba.

So since that whole processor video codec bullshit got layed out on its ass, it does have something to make up for it. That is Gesture Control. Using the integrated web cam, you can use different hand motions to start, stop, pause, play a movie. You can make a palm to stop or play the movie, click your thumb like a pen to select objects on screen, and use your fist and move it around to act as the mouse. Also from other websites who tested it, they say its still kind of buggy and the room needs to be well lit to use the feature.

So what other mediocre technologies does this laptop have? Video indexing. It picks out faces from scenes in movies, so you can look through a catalog of faces, and start a movie from scenes with that face. What the fuck is the point of that. Thats just really pointless. If I used that feature in a Rocky movie I would be directed to every god damn scene.

This laptop is lame. I give it one thing, it looks sexy as fuck. The Gesture Control is neat, but for todays technology world and with the standards we have, it could be cooler. Video Indexing, not that advanced and not really helpful. The oh so amazing cell processor fails as well.

What does this laptop bring? Sexy looks, pretty good (but not amazing like stated by Toshiba) video editing and compiling, great video playback...and oh you get Windows Vista! (thats a joke)

Save your money, you can get a better laptop for around the same price. (mmm but it is really glossy...oh! sorry.)

SDASU Rating: 75/100

Free Cheesy Bread at Dominos

Order Dominos online and use this free coupon code to get a free order of CINTA STIX!! OMG!
(works online orders only)

Coupon Code: SWEET

Heres the awesome part, you dont want Cina Stix? You can use it for Cheesy Bread too. Just add the Cheesy Bread before checkout, and once you enter the code the price dissapears.

God I feel so fat..

So what the fuck is Betel Nut exactly?

Don't ask me how I came across this shit. Just be thankful.

Before I start this blog, I would like to advise you all I have in the past 6 months became an avid Dipper. Yes dip, not chew but dip. The shit in the cans that you pinch and put between your teeth and gums. So this is what caused me to become interested in this Betal Nuts bullshit.

Now, we begin. Is it a drug? I'm not sure! I couldn't find anything about it being illegal here in the USA but I dont know of anywhere that sells it. For the most part you have to order it online from other countries and I dont know if they would rip it open and send the FBI after you if you ordered 5 kilos of it.

Well, what exactly IS Betal Nuts? Its something a bunch of Asians chew, and supposedly it gives you a little boost. Kind of like a natural stimulant with a "high" type of feeling. There are 2 elements to this stimulant, first is the Areca Nut, which is wrapped in Betal leaf. Its rolled up and chewed by the user, then put in the side of your cheek like American Chew. It should have a peppermint kind of taste.

The real cool thing about this, is fucking asian prostitutes sell it! IM FOR REAL, CHECK IT OUT!


This is a marketing technique to bring in male customers. The girls wear nothing but bras and skimpy panties and sell ciggs, betal nuts, and probally blow jobs from within this glass storefront.

There is a lot of controversity. Some people call it a "legal" drug. The government does have lots of issues with it, mainly in Taipei.

This crop is supposedly Taiwan's #2 largest crop next to rice. I never knew this, interesting!

"Chewing addictive betel nuts, the seed of the betel palm, increases the risk of mouth cancer, according to the Department of Health. Officials are encouraging farmers to plant alternatives to the US$359 million annual crop, urging about 1.6 million users to quit."

So yes, mouth cancer can be a downer of this. But jesus look at the girls who sell it.

I want to get my hands on this shit!

Starbucking..Every Single God Damn One.

So I caught this movie on demand today with my girlfriend and I just HAD to blog about it. The movie is called "Starbucking" and its about this one mans journey across the world, to visit every single Starbucks store EVER.

I know a lot of you might be like, who the fuck would pay $4.99 on demand to watch such a stupid documentary (besides me)..well. Just watch it. It's good, or hell you can even pirate it. Try looking for a torrent.

The mans name is Winter. Yes thats right, Winter. And thats it. He legally changed his name to Winter. THATS IT FOLKS. He doesnt have a last name for first name or middle name. His full name is Winter.

The movie is like an other documentary and just follows him around to each state and country as he visits as many Starbucks as he can. At each one he consumes 4oz of coffee or a shot of expresso. He sets a limit in the movie for visintg 29 Starbucks in one day. On cup 27 he looks likes he just smoked a phat ass bowl of crack.

Imagine that, drinking so much of that caffeine is like taking speed or snorting some coke. In the movie they show how a college Philosophy class is looking at Winter and trying to figure out his motives. Some of them believe he's bi-polar, narcoleptic, or just flat our crazy. You can see in the movie something is wrong with him. He's always jittery and in a hurry, running in and out of each Starbucks...I mean I wouldn't blame him, for the past 7-10 years hes being doing this.

You can find out more on WINTERS website here:
http://www.starbuckseverywhere.net/

and more about the actual movie here:
http://www.starbuckingmovie.com

Aye! Viva La Mexico!

Since Blogger sucks I failed at uploading a new template last night. So in the mean
time we will use this sexy little mexican layout.

As you notice some parts of it, are still in mexican. I am in the process of translating them so I can change it back to english!

Viva La Mexico!!~~~!1!!!~~!!
Punta.

God fucking dammit Blogger

You piece of fucking shit.

EXCUSE our blog template for now. When trying to upload a new one I got some pussy ass error and I dont know what to fucking do.

Some people told me if I wait a day or so, it will allow me to upload a new template.

But yea. This shitty template is temporary.

Bitcheeeeeeeeeeees

How I "Scammed" Office Depot for $25

I sent out a slew of emails to companies like Mc Donalds, Best Buy, Office Depot, Office Max, making up fake stories of in-store experience's I supposidly had. I let the companies know I was extremely offended and do not wish to shop at their store again. Well like most of you know, some companies hate to lose a customer and some dont give a rats ass. Out of all about 5 or 6 emails I sent out, this is the only one I received some compensation for.

So here is how I got a free $25 gift card from Office Depot.

Heres the email I sent:

"Hello.
I am contacting you to rely on my recent visit to an Office Depot Store in Roswell, GA.

I went to the store on a monday afternoon after work to pick up a DVD Drive for my computer. While browsing I was approached by an employe asking if I needed assistance.I said yes and I was helped to decide on a DVD Drive for my computer.

The only problem, the one I wanted was the last one in stock on the floor at the time. The box of this one was broken. Thinking there might be something wrong with the DVD Drive, I asked the employe if he could look in the back of thestore for another box.

The employe rudly declined stating that "there is nothing wrong with the damn drive, its just the box."I was extremely offended by this and stormed out of the store not purchasing anything.

I will not be returning to that Office Depot OR ANY Office Depot ever, unless something changes.
I have never experienced something like that in my life.
Thought I should let you know.
Thanks.
Chris L. "

and this is what I got back, a few days later.

"Dear Chris L.:
Thank you for taking the time to send us your email. We are truly sorry about the poor service you received from our store located in Roswell, GA.

What you describe is completely unacceptable to us and I regret having disappointed you. Our company strives to provide fast, friendly service through our network of polite, professional and knowledgeable representatives. Your comments indicate that this is not the level of service you received and for that I sincerely apologize.

Poor customer service is not acceptable and rudeness is never tolerated. You can be assured that I will follow up to ensure that this matter is reviewed with the associate(s) in question as we certainly do not want it to happen again.

If possible, please could you provide the name of the associate or a full description of the person, so that we are able to share feedback with the Store Manager, Kevin Epperson. We do take these matters very seriously.

Although, I cannot change what has happened, I would like to make up for it at least in a small way. In that regard, I would like to personally send you an Office Depot Merchandise Card valued at $25. Please could you provide your mailing address, so that I can send you the card.

I do hope that you will accept the card as a gesture of goodwill along with my apologizes and compliments. I look forward to your feedback.
Sincerely,


Kamala Shirley
Senior Customer Relations Assistant
Executive Customer Relations
Office Depot, Inc.
2200 Old Germantown Road
Delray Beach, FL 33445
Delivering Winning Solutions That Inspire Worklife™ "

Oh My! $25?! I can't...but I can.

If anybody is wondering what happened next, I claimed I didn't remember the name of the employee and I didn't want anyone getting fired over this.

So lets analyze,

Was I really verbally assaulted?

No.

Did I really stop by Office Depot after work?

No.

Do I even HAVE a job?

No.

Do I have $25 for sending an email that took 5 minutes to write?

Yes!

I will edit in some pictures later of the card and the letter I got.

Clay is Gay! (hehe get it?!)

He admitted it. No biggy! We all knew this American Idol pop star was giving rim jobs to big Rubes behind stage.

But one questions..dont you have to stick your penis in a girl to make a baby?
Dont gay people stick their penis's in...guys?

Weird..

The "Goog" Phone by Google. Awesome.

So its only about time that some other large corperate company releases there own cell phone. The iPhone for example by Apple. (I know its fairly old but still..)

The Gphone (dubbed Tmobile G-1) is being released by..well Tmobile. When I heard the phone was manufactured by HTC I got excited. HTC has some pretty badass phones, and I love my phone from HTC (at&t tilt).

At first I heard rumors of the phone having a monthly data limit. What the fuck? 1GB a month? That pissed a ton of people off. Why? Because thats fucking stupid. You buy an unlimited monthly data plan, for unlimited data. What does this seem like? A scheme to get more money once everybody goes over the monthly limit? Well of course they took this concept off. Saved a lot of customers there dickwads.

Lets take a look at some concept designs, then the actual phone:

Concepts:

mm okay okay, nice google nice!

Ohhhhh yea! GOOGLE! GOOGLE! GOOGLE.COM!

DAYUUM!

and, the actual phone:

oh... (is that a fucking sidekick?)

Well..I guess they call them concept designs for a reason.

Now lets take a look at the features of this phone (or what they tell us now).

It is a smartphone, one of the first from Tmobile I think. It will also run googles mobile device smartphone software, Android. Ahh Android. Haven't really seen it applied to well..anything. Its supposed to mimick Linux but more user friendly. I saw some screens of it running on the cell phone and it looks a lot like the Mac OS. How stable is Android? Who knows. But lets give them a shot.

Key features:

+Touch Screen

+Slide out QWERTY keyboard

+User friendly web browser

+3MP Camera

+Customazible Home Screen (well..duh)

+Easy access to google applications(gmail,youtube, google talk,etc) *

+1GB memory card for music, photos, etc

+3G network (a must for all of todays smartphones)

+WifI

+Download Androids Applications

So..as far as it seems, these are very basic options and features seen in pretty much every single smartphone ALREADY on the market. Whats the big catch with this? I think they are trying to grab you at the whol Android OS and "Google Apps Implementation". Is that all? Thats it...wow. This shit fucking sucks. It looks just like a god damn sidekick too.

* Ah yey. Google/Android Apps. So inovative google! We have never seen this before. Oh wait...iPhone anybody? This is an EXACT spin-off of the iPhone Apps. Users will be able to make and download apps for Android (which might be..pretty hard to develope at this tage) and the oh so awesome implemented google apps. (because you cant check your fucking gmail on any other phone.)

So what does this shit have that is so SPECIAL? Absolutely fucking NOTHING. The big attraction is that its made by Google! OMG! GOOGLE! YAAAY!

Whats next? Phones from Yahoo? Phones from AskJeeves? A fucking Redtube phone?

But hey, the price isnt too bad. Well...the suggested price.

Set to release around October 22, 2008. The T-Mobile states "at prices, as low as , $179.99 with 2 year contract." So hey! If you arn't already signed up for T-Mobiles shitty service, cancel your plan with AT&T because this phone is going to be so awesome!

Oh

Rape Haikus..mmm just in my ally

I found this amazing website with a bunch of haiku(s? damn japanese) relating to the phenomenon known as, rape.

I don't think they are still taking submissions, I tried to send one and it STILL has nott shown up.

Here are a few I thought were pretty awesome:

penis in the ass
dicks are everywhere now
you are soso fucked

Provocative dress
Is what caused this big mess
And your new baby

Market Meltdown? What is this shit..

Clearly anybody who reads the news or watches it, or even reads a nice old fashined newspaper (unlikely but possible), you will see the bullshit about the big Wall Street fuck over ol' big' market meltdown 08' ol' big buy this bank sell that ol' havin' ol' your stocks are fucked, stuff.

First off, I realize im young. I dont really have to worry about money too much. That doesnt stop me from having an opinion about this jabberwoky.

Secondly, who the fuck cares.


I took the time and liberty to construct a Pie Chart illustrating the percentages of how much I "give a fuck" about the Wallstreet fuck over. Please observe this graph and take notes:





This isnt the Great Ass Mother Fucking Depression or some shit. Suck it up and dont quit your day job (even if it is baking donuts). Does it really affect you all? If you dont work for some big ass bank im pretty sure your fine. Hell, my dads still rakin' in the benjies and having time to sit back and down a couple beers (or 10).

So does this really affect everyone? Is it something EVERYONE should be worried about? Mmmm, Nope! Like I said, the only people who will end up sleeping in tent city are the Lehman Bro's (super mario?) employees and..people who cant keep a stable job and manage their god damn money.

Really folks, dont flip out. Keep working hard, keep your job, dont sleep with the boss'es wife, and your good to go!

So good! Fuck Wallstreet! I dont need to trade fucking stocks! Fuck chance! Get a real job and earn your money, dont gamble with that shit. I hope Wallstreet turns into...uh...um...Shitstreet! Yea. Thats right!

Sit Down and SHUT UP

Gossip?! Tech News?! Also Tech Reviews?!
Downloads?! Uploads?! Hell even the color Yellow?!
Stream of Thought?! Consumer Reports?! Even Scams That will get you fired at work?!
Rape Haikus?! Shitty Movie Reviews?! This blog has it all, even the daily news.

But really. Enjoy, this blog im going to try to make last. So book mark it, suscribe to the feed,
comment, participate, contribute! Lets make this blog big and last.

Expect at least a few posts a day, I am a student so I have school first. But this will be updated every day.
So first, heres a bit about me:



Age: 17 (18 in january)
Grade: Senior
Gender: Questionable, but male. (kidding, im a male..i sware)
Interests: Technology, Computers, Blogs, Doggy Style Sex, Shows, Music, Fucking Over Corperate America, Getting free shit, Dipping Grizzly, Smoking Wides, Cooking hot pockets
Budget: $80 weekly (from dunkin donuts)
About Me: I like porn and stuff I guess, so I decided to make a blog documenting my adventures, finds, and interesting stuff. My ears are really big and people think im from an African Tribe, but im really just from Atlanta, GA. Drug free, but Bree for.